


Anyways

by yvette_cigarette



Category: British Singers RPF, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Cliffhangers, Gay, Inspired by 1984 - George Orwell, M/M, The world is fucked, pretty weird, two part series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-05 07:43:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18824230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yvette_cigarette/pseuds/yvette_cigarette
Summary: In a city governed by transparency, Miles Kane finds himself smitten with Alex Turner, a loophole in himself. Love has been outlawed, aggression - a crime. Law encourages its citizens to have the emotional range of a reptile. Society is divorced from emotion, replaced by the eyes.





	1. Part 1

_ Part I. _

_ 1 _

He’s so beautiful. 

Alex’ bed meant more to Miles than his entire home. Though when he thought about it, the mattress felt empty when Alex wasn’t here in it, in Miles’ arms or not. Whether it be a short trip to the loo, or to leave for work on a day Miles had off - no matter the erand, he didn’t do well in bed without Alex. This morning -  a particularly sleepy one - Miles lays on his side in the pale layers of Alex’ bed, a single sheet coating the two. Miles silently reads the man sleeping beside him. Alex sleeps on his back when he’s in a good headspace, it makes Miles smile, knowing that for the moment Alex is doing okay. The pearly cover manages to hide Alex’ lower half  in the most PG way Miles can imagine, but he could be wrapped in a million layers and still seem nude to Miles. His chest rises and falls with every deep breath, it makes Miles want to give in and nuzzle into his soul. But he felt the need to record this, call it a premonition. 

 

**One month earlier**

  
  


His hand remained clutched at the keyhole as he halfheartedly glanced over his shoulder, expecting to find nothing. Instead he spots trouble. He absently removes his hand - leaving the key in his door - and rotates, taking in the scene across the hall. The young man tinkering away in the door frame directly across from Miles’ hasn’t yet noticed him, the man bends over, reaching into a tall box with it’s cardboard mouth open wide. He wears deep hunter-green slacks with a sinfully pale dress shirt tucked at the waist. His flashy loafers, his purposeful quiff, his light honey tan, just the way he carries himself - Miles has him worked out - the rich, unarranged furniture he notices through the open door confirms his theory: Wealth had taken to his middle-class complex.  _ Money  _ for a neighbour won’t be all bad, he toyed, his cruelness accredited to the insecurity in his own occupation.

 

“Oh, hello.” The man greets owlishly, detaching from his box-digging. He speaks with none the entitlement Miles had expected, causing the mild resentment to dissipate.

 

Miles smiles at the knockout brunet meters away, he approaches with a “Hullo.” Supported by little more, “I’m Miles, I, er, live ‘cross the hall.” He’s thankful when his slight awe doesn’t show in his words, the man he now stands before extends a bare hand and a barer smile.

 

“Alex.” Is all he murmurs, stuffing the shaken hand back into his trousers. “Well, welcome to the neighbourhood.” Miles offers lightly, giving a once-over the slighter man’s exterior. His profile is fresh and open, but his eyes carry heavy luggage. The fairer skin on his face only amplify his dark, sweeping lashes that often flutter to the floor. Miles blinks away sternly and suppresses another shroud of himself. “Yeah, thanks.” Alex smiles, “s’glad to know someone now.” He tacks on, seeming a little out of social tolerance - so Miles decides to depart. “Well, see you ‘round, Alex.” To it Alex hums, giving a polite nod and small smile as he turns back to his clutter. If Miles were to have glanced over his shoulder he would’ve spotted Alex watching him. Denying his immediately taking to Miles.

 

When the door and the world close behind Miles he rests back against it and releases a shuddered breath, shit. He sighs, rolls his eyes and then straightens up - quickly becoming aware of the eyes on him. His dart to the surveillance cameras, one stares at him from across the room. He swallows thickly. So what? He hadn’t done shit.

 

He drops his briefcase to the floor and toes off his work shoes as he lazily makes for his bathroom, he flings his beige uniform into the hamper and slips into pants and nothing more. Once he is almost like an actual individual again, he casually strolls - for the sake of naturalism - through the bathroom door and into his bedroom across the little hall. When he gets to his bedroom he treads to the bed, seeking much anticipated refuge. He breathes deeply into his pillows, sinking, but not for long. He drapes his long body over the edge of the bed and spies underneath for a moment, looking for a certain miss. Miles is abruptly startled out of his cat-hunt when the fluffball in question is meowing like she hasn’t eaten in years, “-Jesus- _ Christ  _ Suzzie!” He stutters, sitting up to catch his breath and let the blood leave his head. He is quick to forgive the jump-scare when she nuzzles him with the affection on a lifetime. “C’mon then,” Miles put a shirt on, conceding as he picks her up, letting the idea of an early night sleep go.

 

He’d spent little time with his attention on the program he’d put on, he found himself staring to a point far beyond the t.v. He wouldn't admit it, but once or twice his mind clicked over to a pleasant place, the encounter with Alex. It’d been perfectly tame, however, Alex was anything but. He’d been so...lovely. Miles closes his eyes and tightens the lids, cursing himself for thinking that which must not be thought. He scrubs his nails over his jaw and looks down at Suzanne purring soundly in his lap, her sweet breathing anchoring  Miles. He carefully removes the purring device snoozing on his legs and makes for the sink - dinner plate in hand - but as he leaves the lounge space - the world seems to have suddenly concluded. Miles completely freezes. He is surrounded by nothing but darkness. He’d had a genuine moment of panic, shit; blind? Dead? And the final conclusion: a power outage. But this was such an uncommon occurrence that he was lit with anxiety. He stumbled to the counter and placed his utensils down with a graceless  _ clank,  _ he stilled for a moment to think. He holds his hands out in front, but perpetual nothing-ness is all he discovers. No hands in front, no hands at all. No body, nothing but a mind. An unwatched mind at that.

 

He thinks he’ll be the only resident awake at this ungodly hour to even notice the outage, but just as Miles creeps through his front door he spots a warm glow directly across the space, emanating from 505. Alex lifts a hand in a hesitant hello, worry painted over his features. Miles smiles reassuringly - well, attempted assurance - but when he realises Alex probably can’t see him he decides to close the distance between them. Alex moves in Miles direction also as they meet halfway, he holds a glass lantern encasing a golden flame. It shoots a Chiaroscuro over his tired little face, Alex holds the lantern high to see his neighbor, Miles’ torch having died.

 

“This ‘appen often?” He wonders lowly, “This is actually a first.” Miles answered truthfully, the two share a cautious look. “M’sure they’ll sort it by morning.” He then remembers the hour - must be four in the morning -  and decides Alex knows what he means. He nods but remains stiff, Miles decides to throw him a chord when he asks “How’s the unpacking goin’?.” Alex looks at him closely as if returning from a distant place, “ _ Oh _ -erm, yeah, good,” He scatters, filtering through his day,  “- _ oh, _ actually I dropped me dresser on me foot, bloody hurt.” He cringes as he recalls the incident, Miles hisses sympathetically.”I bet it bloody hurt!” He half chuckled through gritted teeth and furrowed brows, Alex nodded and giggled under this breath. He sighed and smiled tightly, seeming a little more at ease. “Well, I best be stumbling blindly back to bed.” Miles jokes, scoring a small laugh. “W-wait what happened to your…” Alex asked, searching Miles for his light source. Miles looked down at his useless torch, “-Oh, right.” He chuckled, “Dead batteries.” Alex held his fire encased beacon for Miles to take, “Oh-no, no.” He declined kindly, hands up to show. “-s’fine, I ’ave others.” Alex moves it into Miles’ space so he takes it, he then walks Alex to his door and thanks him once more.

 

2

The following day finds Miles draped over his bed, on his back with limbs everywhere. Usually Suzanne would have him up before noon with her coos and calls, so when he awakes to a cat-less bed at one p.m. he gets a little worried. His aching head rushes to the surface as he sits up, he tugs a pair of socks and a cardigan on and makes for the kettle. He throws back a dose of paracetamol and pours himself a cuppa, when he kisses for Suzzie and she doesn’t show he decides she’s sleeping somewhere and simply doesn’t hear him. Miles pulls up a stool and flicks through his mail as he sips the English Breakfast, nothing special here. But while he skims one of the bills he hears a knock at his door. He cocks his head and leans back where he sits to stare in it’s direction, after a moment of contemplation there comes another knock. Miles collects reality and slides off the stool, he wraps his wooly jumper around his body as he walks over to the door. The opened frame is all of a sudden filled with Alex, and in his arms purs Suzanne, looking more at home in his arms than Miles’ flat. “Is she yours?” Alex asks, he looks sleepy and rather dreamy standing in his sweatpants and an oversized shirt, featuring a symbol Miles almost recognises. It’s a fork in a circle, one had once associated it with peace if Miles’ weak historic knowledge serves right. Alex’ once gelled hair is loose and lighter, the persistence of pomade having been washed or slept out. He wears a small smile today, and it’s clear to Miles that he too had only recently awoken. 

 

“Suzanne!” Miles sighs, hand on chest in relief. He grins and his arms are soon full of his feline friend, “She’s precious…” Alex says, scrubbing his delicate fingers down her neck. She purrs into Alex’ touch. Miles finds himself unbelievably envious.

 

“She is.” Miles agrees, he holds her close, closing his eyes and smiles warmly with the embrace. What a fucking relief, he’d be a wreck if she went missing. When he opens his eyes Alex’ are on him, before Miles can blush like an idiot or return the favour - he’s inviting Alex inside. “Tea?” Is the official offer, Alex looks back in the direction of his home and shrugs with a nice nod.

 

“So, power back?” Miles asks as he sets Suzanne infront of her breakfast, “Erm, yeah, yeah- it’s back.” Alex replies, when Miles comes to a stand once more he regards Alex’ awkwardness. He fidgets with the hem of his tee as he stands by the kitchen island, “have a seat.” Miles says, gesturing to a spot next to his. Alex does so as Miles boils the kettle, “sugar?” He asks over his shoulder, when he turns to Alex he is taking in Miles’ home. “-oh, eh, yes please, two.” Miles smiles to himself as he puts two sugars in Alex’ cup and then two in his own. When he settles next to Alex he thanks Miles, they sit in tea sipping silence for a moment.

 

“How are you settling in, then?” Miles asks, his mind flashing to Alex’ glowing face last night. And then he remembers - “an’ how’s ya bloody foot holding up?” Alex chuckles and looks down at his socked feet, he thinks on it, “check this out.” He giggles - he sounds incredible - Miles furrows his brows and follows Alex’ line of sight. Under the counter Alex uncrosses his legs and pulls a knee to his chest, Miles’ heart flutters when he seems so sweetly comfortable. Alex’ hair looms over his features as he peels his blue and white sock off his foot, revealing a purple bruise painting the beautiful skin like tender watercolour. “ _ Christ. _ ” Miles says, leaning in to see, resisting the urge to run his fingers over the shading. “Yeah.” Alex breathes, smiling to himself. “And yeah-”  Alex says after pulling the sock back on - effectively breaking Miles’ heart - he takes a hefty sip, addressing Miles’ original question. “It’s going good…” there’s uncertainty there. “...but?” Miles ventures, “But…” Alex continues, clutching the mug in two chilly hands. He sighs, “s’just...there’s no hot water, an’ I can’t get a guy ‘till Monday.” He chuckles, “I spent all day moving and I just feel…” He shrugs and cringes.  _ Dirty? _ Miles wonders but curses himself for it when he imagines Alex’ discomfort. “Just, use mine.” Miles says, wondering if he’d take it back if he could. Miles retracts a little, “I-I mean, you know-” Alex saves him “-no,  _ yeah _ . That-that’d actually be great.” He looks away and smiles, “Thanks, Miles.”

 

3

It’s impossible for him to not think about Alex. Not when he is in his home, down the hall, in the shower - the light fall of water sounding through the walls. Miles loads the dishwasher and tries not to think about it. But as he slides his grubby dishes into the machine his mind absently fills with the man. The dream-like creature Alex had been in his door frame earlier, Miles’ mind reel sliding to the phantom he’d been last night, toned and cut by shadow. But it was more than that. A feeling - pulled from his system since birth.

There’s no way they would shag, no way. Sex - unless for procreation - was...not ‘forbidden’, exactly, just frowned upon. Rather - you weren't technically or legally in trouble for it, but the sexual act is considered dirty and primitive. The fact was that sex wasn’t love, so it wasn’t deemed a real threat to our ways. Most people seemed fine with desire - sexual or not - being incrementally bred out of them. Though it seemed more likely that being watched was a major turnoff for most, understandably. Some simply didn't care about being watched, Miles didn’t really know how he felt.

 

“Miles?” Alex gently calls, from a place behind Miles, where he scrapes the very last plate. Still holding the dirty slate, he turns to ask Alex how it was. But his question and the plate he clutches, shatter simultaneously when Miles spots Alex standing across the room, haunting his home with strong arms crossed over his bare chest. Miles doesn’t even register the broken ceramic at his feet until Alex’ eyes are wide with alarm. He desperately tears his eyes from a practically nude Alex to the mess at his socks. “Ahhh…” He groans through his still dropped jaw as he stares down blankly at the shards, “...shit.” He concludes, Alex snickers, “I’ll give ya a hand.” He says, moving over. The pale, cotton towel still draped over his hips. Miles has to force himself up from his crouching position as Alex leans down to collect the larger fragments, Miles’ eyes jump to the camera directly across the  room, already feeling judged for this. “ _ Ouch _ !” The man below Miles hisses as he drops a  piece, as if it’d bitten him. Miles snaps his elastic mind back home, “What is it?” He asks as he dares to bend back down, “S’nothin’” Alex grunts, wiping a bead of blood from his cut palm.

 

“Oh, Alex.” Miles soothes, like  _ he’d _ been the one cut. “I’ll just...I’ll get you something.” Miles says, he stands up as Alex does, holding the injured hand in his other. Miles moves over to his cabinet and tells Alex to “sit down.” He did, on the stool Miles had once sat in. When Miles returns to Alex with his first aid box in hand he spots nerves in him. The boy’s cheeks are pink - from the shower and loss of blood Miles tells himself - and he chews his bottom lip as he regards the pain. ”I, er...I were comin’ to get me clothes...” he mumbled, clearly ashamed for having forgotten them. ”Oh,” Miles replied, wondering why he hadn’t noticed them. He glances over to where Alex’ meticulous pile of clothes sit on the far end of the counter, maybe he’d chosen not to see them. ”Okay, gimme ya hand.” Miles asked, his own held out to take Alex’. ”Whu-wot are you...” Alex worried aloud as Miles’ hand became full of his own. Miles procured a bandaid - still holding Alex’ sore, delicate, heartbeat of a hand - and he smoothed the plaster over Alex’ clean, warm skin.    
  
His mind was suddenly full of something far away. A memory he’d worked hard to bury. Happily hidden in the myriad of his mind. The memory is saturated in warmth, his eyes cloud as his ten-year-old self appears, his own scrape covered in bandage and kissed all better by his Mum. His chest spills and he finds the memory of his mother’s kind kiss morphing with him. Without obsessive thought, Miles leans in, and presses his lips to the spot. Effectively kissing it better.    
Alex gasps silently, but his hand never struggles. If Miles were to look up, he’d find Alex’ eyes closed and brows furrowed with anxiety. But the one peck isn’t enough for Miles, the skin is soft and smells like his vanilla wash, he finds his lips pressing more and more kisses along Alex’ skin. He trails slowly from Alex’ palm down his wrist and gently up his arm. Alex breathes deeply from above Miles and hums with a reluctant groan. “Miles...” Alex drones under his breath. Almost like he’s using Miles’ name in the place of a ‘no’.   
Miles sighs in a hot plea against the skin.   
“You know we...we can’t, m’sorry...” he mumbles, worry nested in his explanation. They  _ can _ , but they’d be watched - Miles didn’t want that...but his desire for Alex had begun to outweigh his revolt.   
Miles looks up at Alex for a burning beat but keeps the wrist in his hand. He glances over at the two cameras, one perched over the tv across the room, and one right here in the kitchen.   
Miles sighs, gives the skin a parting kiss and lets off. He moves over to his kettle and flicks it on because he doesn’t know how to breathe anymore.   
It was understandable that Alex didn't like the idea of starring in any of Miles’ surveillance footage, but it still stung with rejection.    
  
“Have dinner with me.” Suddenly Alex is next to him, Miles is facing away and decides its best like this.    
Wait - “Wot?” He asks, as he does face those hopeful eyes.   
“Tonigh. Come over... six o’clock.” Alex says again, the invitation spoken as if he’d already received an RSVP. The kettle whistled and Miles blinked widely at Alex, then his eyes raked over the man. His damp hair dropping beads of transparency down his chest, the skin there impossibly curved and built well. Before Miles allows his sight to venture much lower he blinks away and looks at the steam breathing out of the kettle, “I…” he breathed, staring at the trembling device. Why was he struggling? Maybe it was that he couldn’t understand why Alex would want him in his home, when he clearly didn’t want Miles physically. He reasoned that it was the cameras, but Alex’ home would have them also... he’d never been good with rejection, probably lack of experience in the area. 

“...er, yeah, alright.” He reached up into the overhead cupboard and pulled out two mugs, “oh-I’m going to head out, but thanks for the tea, and the...medical assistance.” He giggled, Miles nodded and smiled as he put one mug back. “See you tonight then.” Miles said, the words feeling silly on his tongue. Alex leaned in suddenly and squeezed Miles’ forearm, like a comfort, or assurance. “Thanks again.” And with that, Alex was out the door. Clothes in hand, towel at his hips, leaving Miles in a cocktail of confusion and hope.

 

4

“C’mon Suzzie, you know, you can’t ‘ave wet food every bloody day.” Miles argues for the thousandth time, Suzzane glares up at him, as if he could refuse. He crosses his arms and grunts down at her, shaking his head fondly. He looks over at the clock, 6:05.

“Alright! You broke me!” Miles concedes before dumping a can of wet cat-food into her bowl, to this she purrs and brushes affectionately against Miles’ crouched knees. He scoffs and gives her a pet, to which she has zero interest. He chuckles to himself, finding his coat and heads out.

 

When 505’s door opens Alex smiles widely at Miles, looking at him up and down. Miles had gone for casual, though his interpretation of casual tends to differ from others. He knows he’s dressed well when Alex eyes linger a little too long to go unnoticed, Miles takes in Alex’ apparel also. Brunette trousers with a pale shirt tucked loosely, hair slicked back and the look of mischief? In his deep brown eyes. “Glad you could find the place.” Alex snickered, stepping aside for Miles to enter. “Almost got lost.” Miles replied to which the other laughed, taking his guest’s coat. “Sorry, it’s still a bit of mess.” Alex says as they enter the area, Miles eyes involuntarily widen.

 

Structurally, Alex’ apartment is basically identical to Miles’. Same pearl blue walls, same eggshell tile. But Alex’ interior arrangement is a stark difference to his. His kitchen makes Miles’ look like an easy bake oven, the television is easily four times the size of his. From one look one can safely draw the conclusion that Alex is an academic. From the glossy, mahogany desk and chairs - to the custom design rugs, but the fireplace is the real show stopper - a  _ fireplace _ .   
  
It even smells like Alex, or something like him. His home is bright - not a migraine, but it was coloured. Whereas Miles’ apartment completely lacked in saturation. He wished he cared enough to decorate, he wished he had the bloody funding to decorate.    
  
A fucking fireplace.

 

“Yeah, few boxes here and there, but I’m liking how it’s looking,” Alex murmured, crossing his arms and turning his head in consideration. “What do you think?”

Miles nods, still in a bit of shock, it’s stunning. “Yeah it’s looking great, Alex.”  _ It looks like you.  _

_ “ _ You know my favourite part?” He hums, turning to Miles almost suggestively. Miles faces him with a raised brow, “Is it the fireplace? Cause it’s sure as hell my favourite part.” Miles laughs, glancing over at the spot. A red, beige and black patterned rug in front, velvet seating resembling the renaissance period around the area - something from a history book that hadn’t been wiped. Alex chuckled at Miles’ statement and took a few steps much closer, now he must angle his head up to meet Miles’ gaze. ”What  _ is  _ your favourite part?” Miles asks, trying to remain conscious with Alex looking at him like that.

 

Alex leaned into Miles’ space, “the privacy.” Alex whispered, watching him closely. Miles’ head cocked back slightly, as if in surprise. His brows furrowed, waiting for Alex’ words to develop meaning in his head, “the…?” Then - it clicked. Miles eyes widened and he took a step back, staring at Alex. He was smirking back at him, “ _ no _ …” Miles challenged in disbelief, his mouth opened in awe. “See for yourself.” Alex said, walking into his lush living room. He put his hands out as if to clarify the complete lack of cameras with the gesture, Miles eyes darted about for a while. Marble-swallowed kitchen - no cameras. Stunning reading nook - no cameras. Wall after wall, not a lens to be seen. “H...how…?” Miles stutterd as he approached Alex in the living space, he rolled his shoulders. “..er, work perks…” Alex mumbled simply under his breath as he pouted slightly and looked around the space with what Miles thought to be resentment. “Money.” He attached as an afterthought, “my, er...my job, it means I’m not seen like everyone else...” then he looked at Miles, almost guiltily and then looked away.

 

“So...you can just...do…” Miles was still awestruck, still in slight disbelief. “-I can do, whatever I want.” Alex chimed in, stepping into Miles’ space once more. “But you could be doing  _ anything _ in here, don’t they-“ “People believe what they want to believe, Miles.”

Miles looked off and thought about it, shaking is head in amazement. Then he started chuckling lighty, “that’s...I mean you-” Miles’ thought is cut short when Alex’ hand is locking with his at his side. Alex looks up from under his lashes at Miles, he chews his bottom lip as his thumb rubs the skin on Miles hand where he clasps it. 

 

In a swift movement Miles pulls Alex into him playfully by the hand he holds, Alex bursts into a laugh as he wraps his arms around the taller man’s shoulders. Alex looks up and smiles so sweet and so softly, it heals Miles- heals wounds he’d decided he didn't have. He presses his forehead to Alex’, silently loving him. Just as their heads dip - noses nuzzling and Miles knows soon he’ll be tasting Alex - the two jump when a sharp  _ ding _ pops their surveillance-free bubble.

 

“Dinner.” Alex sighs dutifully, he breaks from Miles and moves over in the direction of the sound. Miles releases a shuddered breath as he regards Alex in his kitchen, he wonders over to the marble island and watches the man work. Alex slips two oven mitts on and crouches to take out the meal he’s prepared, Miles’ jaw drops when Alex reveals a golden skinned lasagna in his grasp. “Is that..no  _ way. _ ” Miles exclaimed, hand over his mouth in even further amazement. “Sorry - would’ve done more but I only had a few hours…” Alex says, placing the ceramic pot onto the stove as he rises. “But I made a salad.” He says, “could you grab it? It’s just in the fridge.” Miles tares his eyes from the creation Alex prods with a fork - presumably checking the texture, “er... yeah, sure.” Miles murmurs as he locates the refrigerator, grey and strong. As Miles opens the humming beast his mouth hangs open in wonder at the sight he beholds, “bottom shelf.” Alex calls over his shoulder as he searches for a knife, Miles tries his best not to stare for too long. But the coloured cheeses stare at him, as do the olives and wrapped smoked salmon, on the higher shelves he spots purple grapes and a dish of bright strawberries. “So...what-uh, what exactly do you do?” Miles asks quizzically as he hips the door shut, greek salad in his hands. “I’m a historian - best of the best...well that’s what me editor says.” He says with an adorable gleam, “Basically,” he begins, placing plates and two sets of cutlery out. “I’m paid to conceal.” Miles looks closely at him as he sets the salad down. Alex corrects himself, “Well-no, what I mean is…” he pauses his plating for a moment as he thinks on it, he picks his next words careful whilst he unscrews the salad dressing. He pours a fair dosage over the colourful dish and sifts the liquid through with tongs, “I....prioritise…” 

Miles watches Alex’ strong hands gently  mixing the salad through, he listens and wonders but decides his questions will wait. Alex looks up apologetically at Miles and shrugs with a short chuckle, “and this is why I don’t like work-talk.” Miles smiles understandingly, because weirdly, he does.

“I can’t really...say too much about it, like - I’m not authorised…” to Miles, Alex isn’t nearly as reserved as perhaps the government would have him be, regarding his work. He wonders if he talks about his job like this to everyone, or maybe this is just for Miles’ ears.

“I get the feeling you aren’t overly fond of authority.” Miles says carefully, it’s clear they’re still learning each other. 

“Are  _ you _ ?” Alex asks, smiling over the meal he plates. Miles pops one of the sliced cherry tomatoes into his mouth, “fair point.”

 

Dinner is eaten right there in the kitchen, over the counter and under warm, dim lights. The food makes Miles’ heart drop and flip and every nerve ending earthquake. They exchange their mutual hate for their work, their rule abiding lives and the societal prison they’ve been stuffed into. Alex shares his struggle with anxiety, a symptom of the problem that is this world. “Just...worrying about, everything…” he said around a sip of wine. “Sounds fucking exhausting.” Alex laughed at this, the lift of lips and crinkle of eyes made Miles want to hold Alex forever and protect him from everyone and everything always. 

“ _ So  _ fucking exhausting.” Alex agrees as he settles, “just…” he looks hard at his empty plate as his smile falters. Miles suddenly wants to be in his head with him. “...Yeah, just,” he sighs deeply. “Exhausting.” He raises his glass and downs the last of it, his cheeks redden and he holds the glass to his warm cheek. Alex smiles at Miles with a certainty he didn’t think existed anymore.

“I’ve never actually had wine…” Miles confessed through a semi-grossed-out sip, Alex giggled at him, “believe it or not, eventually you can’t live without it.” He says, taking the glass from Miles. “I think I’ll manage.” He grunts, unable to imagine such a taste being enjoyable. 

 

Alex is still grinning when he stands to clear the table, Miles joins him in clean up as Alex lowkey brags about his camera-free lifestyle. 

“First time they were gone, the cameras I mean... I didn’t really know what to do...it was like I didn’t know how to…” Miles stilled his table wiping and looked over as Alex rinsed the plates, “...be me, or someone who wasn’t always being watched, like I had to track down all of the things in myself I’d needed to bury for so long.” Alex placed the last plate on the rack and turned to watch Miles bending over the counter to reach the far corners, he didn’t pretend he wasn’t watching his arse when Miles caught him. “Must be nice.” Miles said, standing up right, looking at Alex. “S’posse I shouldn’t get too used to it,” Miles says simply, smirking, “Suzanne and I remain screen legends back at mine.” He jokes, thinking fondly of his animal. But Miles knew exactly what Alex meant. He was beginning to anyway, feeling that same unbalanced feeling now that he wasn’t being watched.

“Your always welcome ‘ere…” He said, winking and returning to the sink once more. Miles smiled at it and spotted Alex’ bright red cheeks, “Plus,” he’d giggled,  “no one can judge me ‘orrible dancing when I listen to me music.” Effectively lightening the mood. “-Wait, sorry-did you...did you just say _ your music _ ?” Miles wasn’t aware one could possess music. Alex smiles at him wolfishly and takes his hand, he leads him over to the little space encircling the fireplace. Over upon a table a small distance from this area sits the strangest looking device Miles had ever seen, “what the hell-” “-I  _ know _ right.” Alex says proudly, looking down at it with adoration. “Cost me a fortune.” 

 

Miles lowers himself to watch as Alex places a large, thin, black disk onto the circular platform in the center, his eyes widen as it begins moving, he’d only ever heard about these things. But what sends Alex into the greatest fit of laughter - bouncing on his heels, and clapping his hands - is Miles’ reaction to the sound. Miles had literally lunged backwards in shock when the tune had begun, he looked around the room for where it was coming from, like - because of this contraption, he’d suddenly been struck dumb. “Whu…” Miles murmured, he looked back to Alex, he was off fiddling with something over at the fireplace. Miles moved closer and looked down at a crouched Alex, leaning into the concave in the stone wall, he seemed to be building a fire. First he’d torn and balled paper, then placed the timber into the triangle-hut nest, Miles sat next to Alex as the man struck a match and through it to the pile. “Fucking hell.” Was all Miles’ vocabulary seemed to offer as the flames blossomed, now the two men’s faces were warmed in the heat emanating from Alex’ creation. Alex settled next to Miles on the rug and sighed, content with his fire. He shuffled back and encouraged Miles to do the same, so the two sat shoulder to shoulder, leaning back against the plush couch that sat facing the fireplace. Miles stretched his long legs out in front and toed off is shoes when the other man did, Alex held his knees to his chest as they watched the fire. Music rendered indescribable by time and repression fills the space, surrounding them with what Miles imagined lust to sound like.

 

_ ‘Just take this longing from my heart…’ _

 

“What are we listening to?” Miles asked lowly, when he looked over at Alex he had closed his eyes and his cheek was resting on his knee. “Cohen - well, that’s what the cover says…” Alex hums, “incredible, hey?” He adds without opening his eyes. Miles loves it, all of this. He looks at an Alex resembling the one from last night - lit by a fiery glow, his stunning features smudged and obscene. 

“You’re starin’.” Alex says, eyes shut, adding a small smile. “Can’t help it…” Miles hums honestly. Alex does open his eyes now and looks at the man, he smirks and then turns his body to face Miles’. Alex stills and takes a breath, as if preparing for a hard blow.

“I...like you.” Alex whispers, and then smirks “don’t tell anyone, though.” Miles giggles and leans in also, “I’m afraid the feeling’s mutual.” They smile at each other like idiots for a moment, and then Miles moves incrementally closer, keeping his eyes on Alex’.

 

Alex lowers his knees and leans into Miles, a long arm snakes around his side as the two men’s eyes fleet back to the crackling fire. Miles sighs as they huddle, warm and safe, feeling Alex’ side against his. 

Alex turns to Miles, angling his head up at him lucidly. “Miles…” He whispered softly to the man staring into the fiery flames, Miles hummed and then met Alex’ gaze - warmed to find the other man staring at him dreamily. He cannot recall ever being looked at like that.

Miles braced a trembling hand onto Alex’ warm cheek. Alex sighed quietly into it and blinked slowly, his doey eyes asking Miles to keep going. So he did. Still embracing the slighter man with one glorious arm, Miles clasped Alex’ chin with his free hand, angling his face up to meet Miles’. Alex’ eyes opened now, like his pulse had woken him up, sobered him. After a beat of eyes flicking to each other’s lips Alex sighs, “Fuckin’ kiss me Miles.” He growled hotly against the man’s lips. Miles complied with no delay, crashing his lips against Alex’ in almost desperate devotion. The kiss - whether a reflection of the two men’s feelings or not - was certain, and thick and experienced. Alex was tugging on the collar of Miles’ turtleneck, forcing more of the man’s tongue down his throat. “Fuckin’ beautiful.” Miles murmured when they broke, lips tingling and fingers trembling as he retracted his claws from Alex’ scalp. Alex pouted at Miles, looking at him through his lashes. “I wanted you this afternoon…” Alex purred as he climbed into into Miles’ lap, knees locking, causing an obscene gasp from the man. “ _ God _ .” Miles pants, “I wanted you the second I saw you in nothing but that bloody towel.” He confessed hotly into his ear, Alex snickered, “I wanted you the second you got here…” Alex moaned as Miles pulled him in and began sucking and kissing his neck, “oh,  _ god _ .” He sighed at the sensation, craning his neck to give Miles better access. “What took you so long?” Miles growled in response to Alex’ own confession through his smooching, “fookin’ tease.” Alex moaned an “uh-huh” through a hanging mouth and hooded eyes. He took either side of Miles jaw roughly in his hands and locked their mouths hard, grasping and gasping together. “ _ OHh _ , fuck me Miles, fuck me,  _ please _ ,  _ fuck  _ me.” Alex pants hysterically, Miles could’ve combusted then and there, but decided against it. He broke from Alex, resulting in an immature whine from the smaller man. Miles eased Alex off of him and stood, looking down at a rather dazed Alex. “Lets not do this on the floor, aye?” Miles suggested, grinning down at Alex’ confused-puppy state. Alex glared dirtily up at him, then grew a smirk with  _ horribly _ hidden mischief in his eyes. Miles looked over this and held out his arms to help Alex up, he was taken aback when the man gave the offered assistance a juvenile shove away, he didn’t get it at first. But then Alex was rising up on his knees.

 

Miles saw stars as he gawked down at the man kneeling, looking up at him with lust-blown eyes. “Alex,” Miles pants, “you don’t have to—” Miles’ half hearted let down is butted aside as Alex attacks his belt animalistically. “Jesus  _ fuck-Alex! _ ” He yelps when Alex’ desperation spikes with his rough pulling, he unlatches the belt and unzips Miles’ pants with no time to spare. 

 

“Been waiting all fuckin’ night to ‘ave you like this.” Alex growled in rough explanation, Miles couldn’t help but gasp when Alex tugged his pants and every remaining ounce of reservation down his thighs thirstily. Alex’ jaw sort of dropped, he looked up at Miles who’s brows were furrowed as it seemed Alex had paralyzed him. “Baby.” Alex stated, Miles watched him as an answer. “Your so big.” He commended filthily as he licked one naughty stripe up Miles’ dick. Miles gasped and groaned through bitten teeth, he was almost in shock with the words Alex had spoken, like the polite boy he’d had dinner with was long gone. It was Alex’ single taste of Miles’ throbbing cock that made him decide to give Alex what he so clearly wanted. Miles caressed Alex cheek like he did earlier, only now the circumstances have escalated incredibly. But Alex nuzzles his face into it like before, licking at Miles’ slender fingers before taking one between his teeth, giving it a small nip. Miles could only moan to this.

Slowly, Alex took his lover’s hand in his own and guides it down lower, Miles lets him and watches closely. Alex presses Miles’ hand to the heated bulge between his own legs. “See what you fuckin’ do to me, baby?” Miles moaned at the sensation of Alex in his hand, he caught his breath and with his free hand, took the back of Alex’ head - looking down at him with the certainty he had filled him with. 

 

Alex released Miles’ hand - unable to hold out any longer.

Without another word, Alex closed his mouth around Miles’ cock, earning a throaty groan from the man clutching at the back of his head. “ _ N’uhh, _ fuck.” Miles groaned, his head fell back with his unwinding pleasure. Alex, for this part was drunk, savouring every juice Miles’ cock was leaking as he began bobbing up and down for his lover. Miles’ barely bitten back moans overtook the slurping and sucking sounds Alex’ mouth was making, Alex clasped the man’s thighs tight - fastened for a deeper treatment. Miles’ sensed Alex’ need for more, so he dug both of his hands into the other’s messy hair - rendered wild - and griped the tuft cruelly. Alex pulled out for air for a beat, dribbling saliva and pre-come, Miles eyes crossed at the sight. He gathered his desire into an usable method and assured Alex, “I’ll take it easy on ya, promise.” Alex glared up at him in objection, “don’t you  _ dare _ .” He growled lowly up at him - it was all the confirmation Miles needed - so, meeting his lover’s demand, Miles aligned Alex’ beautiful head with his unbelievably hard cock and held his breath. Alex took Miles’ cock like it was his job, insisting more and more of the throbbing feeling down his throat. Miles had to work hard to preserve both his orgasim and his dignity as Alex’ perfect mouth seemed to have put him in a more than welcome trance, his entire body sizzling, his knees could give way at any moment. After one particularly violent moan from an indecipherable Alex - his eyes having rolled into the back of his head - Miles pulled out of  Alex’ dripping mouth and released his hands. Alex doubled over, out of air, he fell forward on all fours as he caught his breath and reality once more. Through his deep breathing Alex began moaning to himself, Miles caught him fondling that bulge over his trousers - a small dark spot already evident. Miles pulled himself together in order to give Alex the firm hand he needed, “wot d’you think your doing?” Miles said firmly, he amazed himself with how serious he sounded. 

 

Alex swallowed through his panting and saliva, he sat back on his legs and looked up at Miles, his face soft with phony innocence. Alex bit his lip and slipped his hand back to the spot he needed contact most, with his other hand he ran his palm over his chest suggestively. Alex moaned loudly, like he hadn’t expected himself to be so sensitive to touch. He squirmed fluidly through his hips as he sat groping himself in front of Miles, looking up into glazed eyes.

 

“Alex.” Miles warned, to this Alex only got louder. “Ohh _ Miiles _ , fuck.” He cried, “Alex I swear to god.” Miles had starting snickering half way through it, he couldn’t help it - the dirty devil. Alex smirked up at him, loving what he was doing to Miles on a number of levels. “Just a preview, love.” he explained, seizing his lowkey masterbastion. He giggled as he came to a stand once more. “Only teasin’, beautiful.” He said, leaning in to kiss Miles deeply, wrapping a hand around Miles cock for a few cruel strokes. Miles moaned into Alex’ mouth, when he released Miles they slowly began scrambling to the couch like teenagers. 

 

Alex rotated Miles and actually shoved him back onto the couch like an attacker, “Fuck yes.” Was Miles’ answer to it, Alex climbed into his lap, Miles’ cock between them. 

 

“I  _ really _ like this--” Alex pants, Miles realised he was referring to the navy blue turtleneck being frantically pulled off of him. “Have it.” Miles muttered as he flung it off in the direction of the kitchen, “only look good on you.” Alex panted, reaching for the hem of his top. Miles generously helped him discard it, he kissed the man’s torso, worshiping the full, fleshy structure that was Alex’ body. Alex made for his fly, unzipping it. But before he could go much further, Miles was lifting him only momentarily as he repositioned them both. Now Alex sits upon the sofa with Miles on the floor between his legs, looking increasingly desperate. Miles picks up where Alex left off, clenching his fists into the waist of his lover’s trousers, he basically rips them from Alex’ fleshy legs. Delighted to find nothing underneath.

 

Miles looks up at Alex, his lover’s eyes are closed as he reclines into the plush sofa and runs his fingers through those greasy locks. His bare, full chest rising and falling. Plump lips bitten to the point of swell, all of that skin glistening in sweat. “Why...why’d you stop?” The man above a knelt  Miles asks, panting desperately. Miles shook his head, smiling to himself. “Wot is it?” 

Miles took one of Alex’ bare legs and put it over his shoulder, causing Alex’ eyes to widen and jaw to slack. His pressed a kiss to the inside of Alex’ creamy thigh, the man sighed, running his hand through Miles’ hair affectionately. “So-”  _ kiss  _ “-gorgeous.” Miles praised, adoring the warm skin under his lips. Alex couldn’t help the blush, the flutter of his chest at Miles’ words. Alex was beginning to realise he’d never felt his way before.

 

“Miles,  _ please. _ ” Alex sighed, so hungry that he fought the urge to touch himself again. Clearly happy to let the prospect of oral wait.

“I know, la.” He smirked, unhooking his lover’s leg. “I just - I need you.” Alex pleaded as he shuffled to the side, lying length-ways across the sofa. His head settled against at the chair’s arm, lounging back and parting his legs. As he pulls his knees up for his conqueror - Miles begins climbing on top, about to burst of anticipation. 

 

“Wait - one sec,” said Alex, breaking their snog. “M’sorry - I’ll be right back.” And with those words he slid out  from under Miles, leaving him to sit and watch regretfully as Alex skidded across the room and disappeared. “Wot is it?” Miles called over his shoulder as he watched the fire calming down, hearing Alex shuffling through draws in another room. He called back in a rough, rushed tone, “I know I have it, s’just been a while!” Miles didn’t have time to ask as Alex reappeared, his mouth dried as the watched the man he’d soon have approach him. He was reading the bottle in his hands, as if it he needed to.

Watching Alex walk was pornographic. He practically floated, moving with his hips, Miles absorbed the sight of his lover’s stark nudity. Miles believed what he held to be lube, “Whu...how do you even have that?” Miles asks, seeing as he himself had always avoided shopping for such a thing - being always under scrutiny, always watched by those fucking cameras. “More work perks?” Miles joked as Alex passed the thing to him and sunk back into his lover’s body on the sofa, as if being away from Miles’ heat  caused him heartache - Alex realised it was kind of true. “I have me ways.” He purred, reassuming his earlier position, thighs apart and body open. Miles gulped silently as he regarded the creature on display, literally waiting for him. 

 

Miles loomed over Alex’ keen body, only parting for a moment to lather himself in the substance. It was obvious - from the look in his eyes - that Alex wasn’t asking for foreplay. He wanted Miles inside him, the minor pleasantries would have to wait.

 

When Miles pushed into the snug heat of Alex he fought to remain lucid, every part of his body suddenly felt both unbelievably powerful and weak simultaneously. He pushed through his throaty groaning and when Alex was completely full of Miles he paused, letting both of them adjust and acquaint themselves with this unimaginable proximity. When Miles blinks his eyes open and un-clenches his jaw he regards Alex from above, breathing just as deep as he is. The man’s legs have locked around the small of Miles’ back, hands clinging to powerful shoulder blades. The pulse between them unites their bodies, making every movement Miles made instantly enter Alex’ system. Every twitch from somewhere deep inside causing one or the other to beg the others name, as if being closer meant losing more -  Miles had planted himself in a place so deep inside the other man that Alex would probably forget it existed until they next united. As Miles began painfully slow movements Alex whimpered and withered under him.

Miles’ uncertainty of what pace they would move at was clarified when Alex moved a hand to clench  Miles’ arse cheek, attempting to push him deeper. Miles takes it as the go-ahead, he began gradually quickening his pumps into the moaning mess under him. “M-iles!” Alex blubbered as the thrusts became downright beastly, grunts and pants filling the space. Alex’ heart reanimated when the record they’d been playing ended, leaving only the cries and calls of Miles and himself to act as ambiance. “S-shit,  _ Alex. _ ” Miles commended, sounding like a snake when the ‘x’ was drawn out, Miles working them to basic vibration. “UHh-je-sus.” He groaned, his stomach sank when he caught a glimpse of Alex’ attention deprived dick, bright and begging. “OH-my- _ god _ !” Alex shouted as he felt Miles’ perfect fingers take him suddenly, his pumps of fucking heaven matching with those of his hips. Alex contemplated flipping Miles - he wanted that control badly - but he wanted this even more. To be in Miles arms, his embrace, wrapped in him when he finished, filling him with conclusion. 

 

Miles was close, Alex could tell by the sloppy, wet kisses, tongues tasting lips that were bitten raw. “Come for me Miles.” Alex pants, his own finish more than close. He wraps his hand around Miles’ where it clamps his cock and removes it, allowing Miles to give his undivided attention to Alex’ ass. Miles looked at Alex as if for confirmation or to double check he’d gotten it right, as if reading his mind, Alex nodded and breathed deeply. “Fookin’ come for me!” He yelled in hot demand as his arms wrapped around Miles, holding him so close they could be one. “OHh- _ god Alex, yes.” _ He moaned as his hips bucked cruelly into Alex, making the entire sofa creak and cry - like it was moaning with them. “I’m gonna-I’m going to-” Miles pants as Alex blubbered under him, his face clenched in concentration, toes curling and eyes tightly closing. As Miles came closer and closer inside Alex he realised that this was something he’d saved, not just since meeting Alex, like perhaps we were all been born with parts of ourselves designed to be given away. 

 

Before Miles knows it he’s peeking, blood rushing, jaw clenching, skin burning as he fills Alex. The man he thrusts into moans dirty compliments as Miles spills, ”that’s it, baby, right fookin’ there!” He’d growled, fingers sinking beneath Miles’ skin. The two moan and sting and unravel, exchanging more than physical releases, Alex relished the orgasim taking place inside of him. Driving his hips up into Miles’ slowing thrusts as he comes down from his high,  attempting to catch his breath. Alex opens his eyes, blurred from the clench of lids, and smirks up at Miles. They grin and catch their breaths, then Miles he leans in and kisses Alex passionately. Alex accepts it, needing it, thanking Miles for all of the times he’d wanted to before, during and after. 

 

A wet, hot substance spills as Miles pulls out, making his eyes roll back at the sight. He kneels on the sofa, above Alex’ not quite spent body, his cock about to burst of neglect. ”Such a generous boy.” Miles murmured, referring to the way Alex had insisted Miles should seek his own climax first. ” _ Me? _ ” Alex replied as Miles parted the man’s thighs, settling between them. ”You- _ uhh.” _ Alex gasped as Miles took him in his mouth without warning, he held Alex’ cock on the heat of his tongue for a beat and then released him. Alex chuckled through a stuttered moan, he swallowed thickly as he looked down at his dick pursed against Miles red lips. ”I reckon you’re the generous one…” Alex breathed, referring to the heavy amount cascading out of him. Miles smirked up at him, unashamed of his hefty load. 

 

“I love your cock.” Said Miles before the man he spoke to sputtered and registered those words, maybe it was in the heat of the moment, or maybe Miles meant it completely. Alex shuddered and sighed, running his hand through his messy hair. “Oh-no!” He suddenly spat, sitting up. He looked over in the direction of  the kitchen with worry on his face, Miles jumped at the outburst, his face remaining between Alex’ hips. “Wot? Wot is it?” Miles exclaimed, pressing up to sit with Alex. He blinked back at Miles, “I-I…” then he giggled and shook his head, “I made desert...s’probably cold now…” he worried his bottom lip and sighed. “Alex…” Miles hummed, he looked back at him, cheeks still flushed. “It can wait…”  he clasped Alex hips and pulled him back down, under him. Alex yelped and full on laughed at Miles’ impatience, “you are absolutely right.” He breathed, feeling himself going under again. “OHh-aH…” he whimpered when Miles lips settled over him. Miles looked up and the two men locked eyes, it remained as Miles began popping wet little kisses over the tip of Alex’ cock. Resulting in a deep, throating moan.

 

Suddenly Alex wrapped his legs around Miles’ shoulders, pulling him in. Alex dug his hands into Miles hair and forced himself down his lover’s throat. Miles gagged at first, possibly out of shock, but groaned with delighted into the aggressive embrace. Miles whined like an animal with his gob full of Alex, letting him fuck his mouth. Alex shot sharp thrusts through his hips and into Miles, coming within moments. Miles shut his eyes tight and felt Alex filling his mouth, breathing sharply through his nose. “Fucking hell-Alex.” He gurgled around the mess in his mouth as Alex released him, reclining with a  _ thump _ onto his back. “You could’ve killed me!” He cried dramatically after taking a hard swallow, he laughed at Alex’ desperation and now at his deflation of energy. Alex closed his eyes, laughing at Miles’ accusation between breaths. “I think it’s more like the other way ‘round.” He breathed, pulling Miles in for a deep, devoted kiss. 

 

The two huddled under a thick blanket on the traumatized sofa, sharing a cup of Alex’ apparently ‘famous’ chocolate pudding. Alex had shown Miles how to change the record, so he picked out one that looked nice as Alex retrieved desert. “What did you decide on?” He’d asked as he took a seat next to Miles, the crackling subsiding as a song emerged. “Somthin’ nice.” Is all he said, opening his mouth for the spoon-full of desert offered his way. Alex shuffled closer to him, trying not to smile so hard.

 

_ ‘Fools rush in, so here I am…’ _

 

**Present.**

  
  


“You know, some would argue that watching me sleep is just pervy.” Alex croaked, eyes closed, causing Miles to wonder how he knew - he supposed Alex was used to waking up to Miles’ sights on him. It felt like keeping guard, it felt like making sure, it felt like his responsibility. Alex stifled a deep yawn and grunted, flipping onto his stomach slothishly. “Stop kink shaming me, Turner.” Miles hums, huddling closer to him. “ _ Jesus _ -Christ, Miles!” Alex jerked when those ice cold feet brushed his legs, “You love it.” Miles snickered, burying his face into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. Alex gave up on sleep and cackled as Miles cocooned him, pressing hard kisses up his neck sillily. 

 

5

 

“No-no, you git, like  _ this _ …” Alex explained as he shoved Miles aside, stealing his place in front of the stove. Snatching the spatula from his pupil.

“Al, for god sake, m’not gonna learn if you keep doin’ this.” He scoffed, shaking his head as Alex flipped the omelette Miles had  _ attempted _ to cook them, “Doin’  _ wot _ ?” Alex droned, looking at Miles with a knowing smirk smacked across his adorable face. Miles groaned and went off to set their places at the counter, “control freak.” He muttered under his breath, “butter-fingers.” Alex adored to himself, recalling how Miles’ last omelette had ended. 

 

On the floor.

 

“Where’s Suzanne? I need to put that flea stuff on her.” Miles said as he tucked into Alex’ un-fucking-believable meal, he wouldn’t admit it - but he was happier in the end that his boyfriend had taken over breakfast. “She’s at yours, took her home last night, after we…” He trailed off, turning a nice shade of pink, “ah, righ’.” Miles nodded, sipping from his orange juice. “Surprised you could walk after that.” He smirked through his glass, “Shut it.” Alex replied, taking his own plate over to the sink. 

 

“Mail’s ‘ere!” Miles called to Alex, who was getting out of the shower. He placed Alex’ hefty stack on the table as he made the decision to go and decipher his own junk mail, that had undoubtedly formed. He crept  in his tracksuit and singlet out of Alex’ home and into the weight of his own, the cameras instantly strangling him. It was obvious that by now, the eyes had assumed the nature of Miles’ relationship with Alex. So whether it was Alex’ position - a job the eyes seemed to need him for  - or the fact that his camera-less home meant no proof of love - they hadn’t even really reached that point...Miles wasn’t sure  _ where _ that stood with that - either way, they hadn’t been bothered or called out for it. No agents, no lawsuits, no loss of employment. They’d manage to fly completely under the radar. 

 

Miles fed Suzanne and when she was too busy stuffing her face, he rubbed the flea shit to the back of her neck. As he washed his hands he gazed over with annoyance at the pile of letters - although, not as many as he was expecting - that were at the foot of his door. 

 

As he bent down and flicked through the four or five letters in his grasp - his stomach seemed to solidify as he suddenly realized what he was holding. The government-branded notice of urgency death stared him, Miles glared blankly at the letter. The last government notice he’d held in his hands had announced the 24/7 surveillance-law a few years back. He realised he didn’t want to open it.

 

Miles walked away from the door - dreaded letter in hand - but just as he was about to pry it open Alex burst through his door. He wore only his shower robe, hair still damp - but his face was damper - he was choking on breaths of panic. “Mi-Mi- it’s fucked-Miles-it’s fucked - they can’t fucking do this!” He yelled, gesturing to a lilac letter in his clutch resembling the one in Miles’ hand. “Al, what is it?” He asked, pushing the panic out of himself for his and Alex’ sake. Miles moved closer and took Alex under his arm, but the man untangled from the hook of Miles’ embrace and yelled “N-NO,  _ stop.”  _ He pushed Miles away, enraged with the letter he held and subsequently everything else. “Alex, calm down, just-breath babe, remember, just breathe—” Alex butted in with a roaring; “don’t you  _ fucking _ tell me to breathe- _ read _ this _. _ ” He said, shoving the paper to the man’s chest. Miles took it and stared hard at Alex, he stood his ground and breathed heavily. Eyes full of flight. “Read it Miles.” He said again, reason emerging through this bruff tone. “ _ Okay _ -okay.” Miles pressed, turning his back on Alex to sit on his sofa. When he sat down he realised just how long it had been since he’d been home, he didn’t want to be anywhere Alex wasn’t. He didn’t want to be watched like he was now.

The eyes had caught up with him it seemed.

 

Alex paced the living room, his bathrobe hung loose, whirlpooling, moving stiffly, worrying his thumb nail between his teeth as he hurricanes into hell. Miles exhaled a shuddering breath and began reading the printed text. At first he’d read it clearly - he understood what he and the general population were being notified of - but once he processed the meaning, he didn’t want to read anymore. When he reached the end of the page, he realised he’d stopped reading a while back, his attention to this ‘Coupling Law’ made way for the thrum of his pulse against his ears.  _ Coupling Law. _

 

“It’s fucking bullshit!” Alex yelled at the top of his lungs as Miles lowered the letter, it dropped to his feet as he felt himself spacing out.  Alex spun into an explosion of curse words and hisses.

Miles couldn't really hear him through his own reaction - something about ‘fuck’ and ‘expect us to do this’, small excerpts from the legislation flooded  Miles’ head. 

 

_ ‘The human race cannot function when individualised.’  _ The fuck does that mean?

 

_ ‘You have been assigned a life partner.’  _ A life partner, who evidently, wasn’t Alex.

 

To Be Continued...

  
  



	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a bunch for the positive feedback !! like, fucK.  
> Part II, final. Got a little dark - reading a Stephen King novel - so.  
> Gimme them kudos.

_ Part 2 _

1

Time had never been kind to Miles.

 

The brief pocket he and Alex had together before their placements moved in seemed to pass like the cruelest stroke of breeze.

Those weeks were stuffed with desperation, rushed emotions, everything burnt. They’d tried in vain to escape their fate, whether drafting plans and plots they could never execute, or drowning their lungs in golden brown substances - sipped religiously from receptacles emptier than they felt. 

Losing concept of time in those weeks came as easy as crying had become, suddenly Miles was an impeccable screamer - always behind a bathroom door or back at his place. Alex however, didn’t keep his distress to himself. His body seemed to cancel any plans of pretend he’d had - whether waking up gasping and cursing or shattering into panic at any given moment, Miles was always there. Sitting up in bed with him. Rubbing an equally terrified hand over his back, reminding Alex how to do this part - even if Miles himself was beginning to forget. 

Hours of doubtless intimacy, though now the exchange stung with urgency - like Miles and Alex needed to take things to remember, as though to never truly be without each other.

 

“S’not too late for a suicide pact.” Alex had mumbled into Miles’ chest as the two men sprawled across the abused bed, Alex weeding his limbs around Miles as they caught their breaths. Miles had to laugh - even when Alex was down he was sharper than glass. “Better not…” Alex replied to himself lowly, Suzanne climbed up onto the lonely expanse and curled into a ball of contentment at the foot of the bed. 

“Alex…” Miles barely whispered against his hair, caressing the head of loose curls. 

“Mm?” Alex had replied in an absent hum, holding Miles tight - as if it’d change their future. “Do you…” Miles began - knowing what he wanted to say, but no idea how. Under Alex’ resting head he can hear that steady pulse picking up slightly, something shifted in the space suddenly. The man intertwined with Miles decides to sit up completely - untangling himself - to gaze down at the man; reclined in a bulk of pillow and sheet. “Do I what?” Alex asked softly - loose, long bangs shadowing his profile, making his beautifully precise features blur in the dim room of past midnight.

“Do you love me, Alex?” 

Alex straightened up - like his spine were tightened thread, the man looked closely at Miles. The sheets pooled at Alex’ hips, his skin never failed to blow Miles’ mind - too soft for the likes of  _ this  _ world. Miles sighed and shook his head, “m’sorry - god, this isn’t fair to you.” He said, sitting up to perch on the edge of the bed, his back to Alex. He felt movement behind him, and then strong arms wrapping around him from behind. “Miles…” Alex murmured with no trace of tension in his tone, he pressed his lips to the space between Miles’ collarbone and shoulder. Miles stared down at his unclear hands and Alex found himself just as mind blown by Miles’ skin. He tucked his chin into Miles’ shoulder nook and reached below to thread his fingers with Miles’. They both peered sadly down to their twined digits. Alex took the quietest breath of preparation he could manage, “are you asking me this...because you think that this is goodbye?” He asked, his arms undid from Miles as he turned to face Alex, but the man’s eyes seemed to be working hard to avoid Alex’. “Doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” Miles muttered, finally revealing to Alex a fraction of his grief. Alex took Miles’ face in his hands, “hey,” he soothed, waiting for contact. “This is  _ not  _ goodbye, got it?” His voice breaking in the last sentiment. Miles pursed his lips and nodded as something horrible spilled from his eyes, he sniffed and smirked through the sinus-blocking evidence of heartbreak, “got it.” He affirmed warmly, mirroring Alex’ embrace. As they held each other’s faces, they began kissing softly - softer than they’d done in weeks. Miles understood it; Alex didn’t want his declaration to be acting in the place of farewell - or worse, some consolation prize for it. “Well - I love you.” Miles breathed into Alex’s neck, the statement - true and clear - spoken without any expectation of a return. Miles knew he’d needed to say it, even if Alex couldn’t. 

 

2

Now those weeks and those words sounded warped, a weak muffle just above the water’s surface. It seemed the recent lack of Alex had rendered Miles substanceless - suddenly he felt perfectly comfortable with numb. He had needed to keep it together - for Alex - though Miles could see that through his moody jabs and impatient lusting that Alex himself was attempting a similar favour. But those last few days, before their new Life Partners would move in, the chemical that was Miles’ own turmoil began seeping through the superficial foundation he’d designed. He’s been thinking about that a lot this past week. Around the office - as captivating as digitizing archive material was - he felt his head often filling with a certain set of doey eyes and cackling laugh that rather than warm him, made his eyes cloud. 

 

Miles hadn’t seen Alex in almost a week, perhaps they were both exercising self preservation. Miles couldn’t have known Alex’ reasons for distance, but for him it was his own heartbreak. They needed to be strangers now. In the end they knew. It didn’t matter - the denial and planning and crying and fucking, it didn’t change anything. 

 

Eventually time ran out.

 

“Miles?” Someone had asked him, he snapped out of himself and into the current chore. He looked up from the mail he wasn’t really reading to the woman addressing him, he gave her a smile that he decided was enough and readied himself for speech. “Yeah?” He asked, the sound of his voice popping the bubble of remembrance. 

“The plates go in the  _ left _ cupboard,” she said, making a point of removing a plate Miles had placed in ‘the bowl cupboard’, and relocating it to it’s home. “See? It’s better to have a system.” She smiled, satisfied with her demonstration. She tucked her muddy brown hair behind her piercingless ears, her olive green eyes setting to a new sight merrily.

“Oh-righ’, I’ll...remember next time.” Miles said, working tirelessly to repress the annoyance in his tone. “You’re only making things harder for yourself.” She chirped, smiling as if she’d paid Miles a compliment. “Thanks Katherine.” He grinned, turning from his stool and moving as far away  from the woman as possible. 

Miles knew little about  Katherine’s life before their coupling, but he was certain she’d been married at some point, and that the marriage had gone south. Maybe it was the way she seemed to resent Miles from the moment they met,  or the way she refused to let Miles help out with  _ any _ housework - never the less, she seemed a perfectly polite robot of a woman. On the first day she’d settled in they’d spoken small, but she’d confirmed Miles’ suspicion - she was thoroughly indifferent to sex. Miles had thanked his lucky stars, but it made him think of Alex’ situation. He wanted to believe Alex had been partnered with someone as dull and sexually abstinent as Katherine, but he wondered otherwise just as much.

 

So, Miles’ relationship with his Partner was simple. They were more so co-workers than significant others, they got on, even shared a bed - though sleep seemed to avoid Miles as much as he avoided it. All in all, when her overbearing meticulousness wasn’t driving Miles insane, he could stand her. It was the thought of Alex - his life, his existence -  that fucked with Miles’ head. 

 

A week it had been since _ ‘this is not goodbye, got it?’ _  They’d agreed this, but looking back - having not seen Alex in so long - it was beginning to look more and more like good-bye. 

 

After another motionless day at the office, Miles was gravitating home. These days he took his time, knowing what - or rather, who - awaited. As he stood in line at the bakery - buying a special order Katherine had orchestrated - his mind began betraying the plan he’d set in place - that he wouldn’t think about it - wouldn't think about Alex, he  _ couldn’t.  _ Otherwise, he’d probably do something stupid. Stupid...like Alex’ stupid ‘shoes at the door’ rule. Or the way he stupidly forgets virtually every cup of tea he makes, or his utterly stupid laugh that made Miles’ chest spill- “Number Eight?” The leather skinned cashier called, saving Miles from himself.

 

As the still-aired elevator ascended - loaf of bread in hand - Miles felt himself spacing out again. When the elevator doors opened, revealing to him his destination, he spotted two figures crowded in front of the door across from his. He exited the carriage stiffly, clenching the briefcase - and bread - in his hands. There formed a leak in his mental fortress when he identified Alex. He was nervously digging through his bag - presumably for keys - as another scribbled body stood close to his. Miles took Alex in - noting those eyebags that he supposed never went away, his hair was unwashed and wild. But he looked rather blank. Miles approached his door though his eyes never strayed as he silently pleaded for Alex to look up just once. 

“Everything okay?” The unknown man spoke, Alex’ head had shot up instantly when he heard this, the man with Alex had been speaking to Miles. His own jaw ticked as he clenched his fists even further - certain he’d break all of his fingers. He approached 505.

 

Alex wears his work clothes - though they don’t give off any impression of productiveness. As for the tall blonde at his side, he wears the clothes of an agent, someone up high on the short ladder the Eyes allowed its citizens. A full head of strawberry blonde, fair, glassy skin and steely blues that look at Miles expectantly. “Miles, Kane.” Miles smiled tightly, extending a handshake. “My partner and I live across the hall.” He explained domestically, he knew he’d made a mistake when he’d let his eyes dart to Alex. He wore an attempted smile, Miles’ chest stuttered and his breath caught when he took in Alex’ eyes. He looked exhausted. But the smile he sent out was the hardest part to swallow. 

“Homme, Joshua.” The man smirked, shaking the hand offered. He smiled at Miles smugly, recognising him as neither friend nor foe at this point. “Nice to meet you Miles,” he obviously lied, when Homme wrapped a possessive arm around Alex, Miles tasted bile in the back of his throat. But what poisoned him most was how Alex let him, smile remaining plastered. He couldn’t help but hurt. “This is Alex, my partner,” Alex squinted hello as the man regarded him. “Beautiful isn’t he?” He tittered vainly, tightening his fingers around Alex’ arm like he was his fucking property - his winnings.

Miles chuckled lightly, “s’very nice to meet you both.” He would rather die than think about the words he’d just spoken. He stole another mind blowingly casual glance from the man he loved now more than ever, and went to leave - wanting to turn to punch Homme into oblivion and run home to puke simultaneously. “How about dinner?” Asked that stern tone just as Miles had left to be done with the exchange, “we’d love to get you know our neighbours…” Joshua said in a tone equally as icy as it was friendly - “-and meet your Other.” That was another term the more politically correct types would use; ‘your other’ as if to imply you weren’t really you without them. 

 

Miles looked back at the two men. Alex, his face unreadable as he stared at the floor - his Partner’s arm secured around him - and his face thinner that usual. And Joshua, buttoned down danger in the flesh, equally impossible to read. Maybe it was a combination of wanting to be close to Alex- wanting to see how he lived now- or perhaps use this opportunity as a way to stab Homme - like this would offer Miles a way to somehow get him. Whatever the driving force of his reply had been, he hadn’t thought twice on it. “We’d love to.” He smiled, mirroring Homme’s frosty warmth. Now Alex looked at him, he could see a red light in the way he regarded Miles - like, although he couldn’t possibly explain it, this wasn’t a smart move. Miles shook that creeping suspicion away and asked when the two were free next, “our place, tomorrow night - seven shall we say?” Asked Joshua as he released Alex. ‘ _ Our place _ ’ - Miles’ blood simmered. He took in the glare Alex emitted, though he’d immediately returned to his key-hunt. “Sounds excellent.” Miles beamed with nothing but acid behind his neighbourly smile, he wanted another glimpse from Alex - even if a justified glare - but Alex’ sights were decided. Homme and Miles shot each other matching nods of farwell, obvious resentment below the surface.

 

Miles felt like he’d raced home, though in reality he had managed to uphold his facade as he shut the door behind him. He heaved a shuddering breath - despising the parallel - and tensed his face fiercely. He fought the wave of weight  in his gut like abdominal heartburn, trying to recover from the interaction. 

How could he have just stood there - watching that bastard with his arms all over Alex - he hated himself for it. Not that Alex was his - or for that matter, something to be had - but this was different. This was Miles failing Alex as a man who loved him, he couldn’t stop looping the thought around himself.

 

“Miles?” Asked Katherine from somewhere behind his closed eyes, he opened them - readying himself for more make-believe. He pulled himself together and smiled at her, she looked a little tired - Miles hadn’t heard her regular deep-sleep breathing last night, he suspected she too hadn’t slept nearly enough - her hair wasn’t pulled back into that hideous bun she normally sported. 

He imagined her sleep deprivation was to blame for these small shifts, “what is it?” She asked, reviving her patronizing manor. She straightened up and tucked her hair back tightly, as if reading Miles’ earlier thoughts. 

“N-nothing.” He said surely, passing her his briefcase as she reached for it - apparently, this was something she did - she took it and moved it to its designated spot. She didn’t push him but asked with horror “what happened to the bread?” Miles frowned down at the mangled loaf between his stiff knuckles - apparently the whole wheat served better as a stress ball than food - “oh - erm, s-sorry…” Miles realised he was becoming absent, his attention remained attached back at 505. “It’s...it’s okay.” Katherine replied hesitantly, faltering for a blink - as if human once again. But before Miles had a moment to appreciate the flook, it was over. “Just means crooked toast.” She muttered, swiping the plastic encased loaf from Miles. He only forced the corners of his mouth up into an apologetic smile, she had little interest in it, as she made for the kitchenette. 

 

As Miles helped with the nightly clean up after dinner, he found himself unable to shake the feeling that tonight Katherine was different. Dinner was eaten at the table, her doing - it wasn’t even mandatory - she just genuinely seemed to take pleasure in domesticating everything in her wake. First he thought he’d imagined it - but after Miles mentioned dinner with their neighbours, she became...looser. Like their entire relationship had been spent within the pressures of some unspoken argument, and for a reason Miles was still in search of, it had begun to slacken - relax. All within the confines of one dinner invite. But perhaps this was just something his mind had incorrectly correlated. How could she be eased by something she couldn’t  _ possibly  _ care about? Her reaction had come across rather...relieved...expected almost. Miles decided he was reading too much into it.

 

“Katherine?” Miles croaked later in bed that same night, he knew she wasn’t sleeping. Over on her respective portion of the mattress she answered after a beat. “What is it?” She asked, again with fewer traces of venom or narcissism in her voice. She sounded just as groggy as Miles, he wondered if this minor insomnia might be the only thing they could relate to. “Is...is everything alright?” He heard himself ask, knowing that by initiating the conversation he was putting himself in a delicate spot. After a moment of silence, darkness surrounding the sleepless couple, Miles could hear her sigh brokenly - the way you do when you really need some sleep, so tired anything could make you cry - she cleared her throat softly. “Can’t sleep.” She muttered, traces of defeat or failure in her statement. Like in admitting to this she was forfeiting any respect Miles might’ve had for her.

“Yeah - me neither.” He’d sighed, seeming to be the only one in the bed comfortable with vulnerability. 

“Did you...like your life, you know - before the Coupling?” Maybe he was asking a question he didn’t actually need answered, truth be told he was rather half asleep. “My…” She murmured inconclusively, another spell of stillness.

“I…” she seemed to attempt once more - Miles stilled - for the first time since Katherine had moved in, she hadn’t perfectly calculated a witty or snarky response ahead of time. But soon after this miracle registered, it dissipated. 

“Of course.” She confirmed warmly, “I was happy then, and I’m happy now. I’m grateful for all that the Eyes provide me.” She said, and just when Miles thought she couldn’t get any colder - “we simply cannot function individually.” Miles hummed a perfunctory agreement after attempting to stomach her words, before she could recite any further nothings about her love for control - or being controlled - Miles decided he’d had a stomach-full, “Night, then.” He chilled, reflecting Katherine’s signature freezing courtesy. “Night.” She whispered, sounding oddly wounded - or out of sorts. Another head scratcher. 

 

3

As Miles dragged the razor down his cheek motionlessly he felt himself spacing out once again, he looked into his reflection and saw a man he was becoming less and less acquainted with. He still looked like him, but he felt his charm had left him when Alex did. He didn’t particularly like what he saw anymore. 

He rinsed the blade and his smooth face in the warm tap water, glancing up to where the cameras had once been. He tried to be glad of the cameraless home he now lived in, he tried to feel less anxious, less unfeeling as he floated through the motion. But the truth was that the Eye’s camera cutbacks did little if anything to relieve his ruin, he still lived without the man he loved, instead passively suffocated by a woman with her head so far up the Eye’s ass that she was beyond reasoning. 

Public surveillance remained; Miles’ place of employment was crawling, eyes swarmed any place of purchase - no one trusted anyone these days. That kind of thing was encouraged - indifference. 

The entire complex was free of Eyes - besides the ones inside the resident’s heads, again - few were to be trusted. He thought back to when Alex had described that feeling of freedom - once the cameras were gone - Miles didn’t feel it.

 

“Would you pick up some tomatoes?” Katherine asked as he stood in the bathroom door frame, attempting to appear well rested - apron around her dainty waist. Miles turned to her and smiled appropriately, “this for tonight?” She nodded and suppressed a yawn - Miles repressed his amusement, her fatigue seemed to strengthen his tolerance. Katherine had mentioned wanting to bring a salad for dinner with their neighbours this evening. At seven pm. With Joshua Homme and Alex Turner. 

“There’s some in the fridge,” he said, moving past her gently, like she’d break. She followed him back to the kitchen area, “No-I checked, there aren’t--” Miles places the jar onto the counter and shuts the refrigerator door behind  him. She scoffed to herself and nodded, moving to scan the fridge’s insides for what else she’d probably missed. Miles felt the friendly twine of Suzanne nuzzling his legs, he really should’ve left for work five minutes ago, but kneels to pet her all the same. As he crouches down he looks over at the decorations Katherine had ornamented their home with, plants sat, paintings hung - she’d done a pretty nice job of bringing out hidden potential - though Miles would never admit to that. Another thing he found baffling was Suzanne’s immediate taking to Katherine, now  _ that _ he hadn’t expected. Miles watched the cat move over to affectionately wind between the woman’s legs, Katherine smiled to herself - but mostly she didn’t touch the feline. 

 

Katherine handed Miles his briefcase as he flew out the door - running behind schedule never failed to stress him out. He smiled her a goodbye, “have a nice day.” She’d said as she closed the door behind him.

 

As Miles entered the glorified sardine can of an elevator he pressed the button for level 1, he stifled a yawn, rubbing this eyes and hoping the fogginess would wear off before work. 

 

Miles was staring absently down at his feet when suddenly he was jolted into the land of the living. There was an abrupt  _ slam _ when someone wedged themselves between the semi-closed doors, delaying the journey as this intruder shoved through. These days Miles paid little if any attention to detail - he supposed he wasn’t the only one - “Miles?” Breathed a voice as tired as he felt, in realizing it was his name being called, Miles set his sights to the man addressing him. 

“ _ Alex. _ ” He gasped, like he were a figment - maybe he was - but just as the name left his lips, Miles was being pulled into an agonizing embrace. It was like his chest had disentangled at last - a lifetime of built up tension finally being exhaled.

 

He wasn’t sure who was crying, him or Alex. The contact trembled as they breathed ruggedly, Miles held Alex’ head firmly to him as the boy furrowed his face, safely tucked in the nook of Miles’ neck. They’d both dropped everything held - Miles, his briefcase - Alex, a cup of coffee that now painted the linoleum a lovely brown. Miles unlatched  from Alex to look at him. His deep umber orbs welling up, the skin encasing them red and glistening. He smiled through the stupid tears, hands remaining fastened around Miles. 

It was then - feeling colour saturate his existence once more - that Miles’ knew what it was he’d been feeling this past week without Alex - he’d been homesick, nauseatingly homesick. And now, holding Alex - it was like the first fresh breath after centuries of sightless snorkeling.

 

They held each other’s faces, smiling through their flushed states. Alex wore his work clothes under the sharp trench coat, his hair smartly slicked once again - which made Miles’ heart flutter just a bit. Alex clutched Miles’ suit in his fingers as he sank his lips into action, too desperate for gentle.

Alex let off the salty kiss with a shuddered  breath, “I...oh, god, Mi…” He hardly panted, clearing his throat as he completely detached from the man. Miles breathed heavily as he watched Alex move towards the elevator button panel, before Miles could ask where the fuck he could possibly be going, Alex is slamming on the emergency brake  - resulting in a painfully sharp halt. Miles stubbled backwards and in the blink of an eye, Alex was crowding him against the closest wall. He slams himself against Miles, taking the man’s face in his certain hands as he slips a knee between his thighs. Miles inhales sharply, weak at the contact he was receiving after so long. He poured a throaty moan into Alex’ mouth, he reached for the boy pinning him to hold is face lovingly. But Alex viciously welds Miles’ hands back against the wall he’s gluing him to, leaving him motionless. 

 

He wants Alex, he needs him - every part of his body is screaming go ahead. But not his head.

“Alex-” Miles groans, fighting him off for a moment before he eased off. Unlatching from Miles, Alex frowns in confusion and part annoyance for the hold up. For a moment the only sound within the dingy elevator is their heavy breathing. “Are you- are you okay?” Miles whispers against lips that wait close by. It does something to Alex, soon his eyes spill with something miserable. He sighs shakily through beads of liquid heartbreak and nods, taking a few distancing steps back. He combs his somehow still perfect quiff with his fingers as he gathers thoughts. 

“I...I fucking…” he strings together, he rubs his face and sighs heavily, looking to Miles. “I missed  you.  _ Miss _ you.” He breathed unevenly, sniffling. Miles searched for his eyes but suddenly Alex was working hard to avoid his perusal.

 

He moves into the boy’s space and plants a grievous hand on his shoulder. Alex lifts his head, looking up to the sharply dressed man. For the first time in what feels like forever, Miles is seeing Alex’ face clearly - but it’s all wrong. 

His chest clenches when he spots unfamiliar markings on Alex’ face...down his neck. Miles solidifies, shocked as he reaches to touch the bruising - as if to check it’s authenticity. But Alex cowers, backing off as if being accused. “ _ Alex-”  _  Miles hisses, suddenly more fear than man. “S’ _ nothing _ …” Alex insisted, which was replied  to with a hard stare. “I...I’m _ sorry _ .” Alex blurts, burying his face in his hands shamefully. He groaned from under his sheltered face, when the hold he had on himself became violent, Miles placed his hands over Alex’ - and Alex let him. “Sweetheart…” he pushed through his need to find out who did this to him - though he had a hunch - and decides Alex needs him now.

 

“S’okay,” he says softly, lowering Alex’ stiff hands from his hidden face. Alex’ eyes still glisten through the tears and the fatigue and loneliness, Miles swipes a tear gently from the boy’s flushed cheek. “I just - I didn’t want you to see it...see  _ me _ .” He explained brokenly, he groaned and when he went to move away Miles pulled him in for a hug. “What happened?” He asked against Alex’ shoulder, he breathed deeply out against Miles’ body. 

 

“Homme- he…he just…” Alex sighed, “he has a temper.” He groaned again and tightened the hug as if to anchor himself. Miles’ blood chilled, he undid from Alex and searched his face. “Did he...did he fucking touch you, Alex?” He asked lowly, looking at the purple and yellow bruising - hoping Alex understood what he actually meant.

“N-...” Alex began, but blinked back in contemplation. “It’s nothing…” He whispered once more, returning to his original answer, Miles scoffed - “you call that nothing?” He asked, pointing at a particularly prominent hickey on his neck. Alex covered it with his hand, “Fuck you.” He hissed, shaking his head disbelievingly, trying to break the hold Miles’ has on him. 

“Alex - wait, I-I didn’t mean -” Miles was butted in before he could finfish, “I know.” Alex put firmly, like he was truly too glad to see Miles to be cross. He frowned at the floor. Miles wished he could read the boy’s mind, be in there with him. Know what Homme had done - was he downplaying this? God - it made Miles disassociate from reality - it made him want to do horrible things.

Miles suddenly filled with guilt for resenting Katherine - when Alex was being harassed across the hall. He hated himself for how he’d chilled at Alex’ facade yesterday - he’d been dodging punches right in front of Miles - he felt sick at the thought of his own plastic smile. He didn’t want to make Alex have to live another second of it, or talk or think of the shit he’d had to go through this past week. 

“We don’t need to talk about it.” Miles lied, kissing Alex softly on the lips. Alex gave into instantly - his revival. 

“He’s just a power-hungry prick.” Alex growls, Miles nods and suppresses his unbelievable discomfort with pretending his was okay. He told himself it was for Alex - that he needed Miles clear and lucid. 

 

The warm yellow lighting that lit the carriage blinked, reminding them reality still awaited outside those doors. “You look good.” Alex smirked, he ran his hands up Miles’ suit jacket. He scoffed and rolled  his eyes humorously, “Me? Have you seen yourself?” He countered, the goof being that neither of them looked good. Both tired, marked one way or another by their break. Alex laughed and buried his face into Miles’ chest, “we a pair of fookin’ supermodels.” He mumbled, his lack of sleep impairing his usual wits - though it melted Miles all the same. 

“...I love you.” Miles whispered into Alex’ ear, he bunched his fingers into the boy’s hair and summoned his face to catch Alex’ eyes. He was smiling drunkenly at the words and bit his bottom  lip.

“Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of ‘earing tha’.” He sighed, Miles chuckled and kissed him firmly on his swollen lips.

The kiss became passionate in no time, Miles realised the time for talking was over.

Alex kissed back longingly, moving lower from Miles’ lips as he planted his hands into the man’s waist, readying to get comfortable on his knees. As soon as Alex went for the belt he was pulled up roughly by Miles and slammed back into the wall, Alex looked startled but his unspoken question was answered when Miles dropped to  _ his _ knees. He looked up at Alex with what looked to be all the certainty left in the word, Miles needed to do this. To give Alex a way back. 

 

“You said you missed me?.” Miles purred, gazing up at Alex teasingly, “how much?” he wondered as he opened his mouth suggestively. Alex’ jaw dropped, and he read Miles’ mind -his busy, generous, loving, horny mind. He smirked knowingly down at the man awaiting him, mouth still hanging open.

 

Miles’ breath hitched when Alex clenched at a tuft of his hair and held him still while he undid his trousers with the other hand, his grip stung and it released a swarm of butterflies in Miles’ stomach. Miles eyes lit up when he was face to face with the part of Alex that filled his mind between one and four every fucking morning. He was half way there, held between Alex’ strong fingers. “How much you miss this?” Alex slurred, and in the cruelest movement - slid his wet head over Miles’ wetter lips. Miles thought he’d missed Alex before. Suddenly his senses heightened, his scalp burned where the the boy manhandled him, Alex’ consent still tastable on Miles’ lips, and the look his eye. Miles wanted Alex to take control - something he feared might have been taken from him.

 

Miles licked his lips, moaning at the salt of Alex, and answered his lover’s question.

“You kept me up at night…” Miles hummed, suspended by Alex’ hold  as the cock he realised he was starved for stared at him. He looked up at Alex and elaborated, “thinkin’ ‘bout your cock.” He hadn’t said anything so broadly dirty to Alex before - believe it or not - and it took Miles by  just as much surprise as Alex. Miles took in the gorgeous sight above him. He leaned forward, playing through the pain of Alex’ dominating fingers, and softly kissed the side of Alex’ dick, watching his hips twitch. “Beautiful boy.” He whispered, angling his head up to watch Alex’ eyes flutter shut as he swallowed a moan. “Fuck.” Alex hisses, putting a hand over his mouth. “Uh, Mi- _ baby _ , I missed you... I missed - OHh Christ!” He groaned as Miles strategically wrapped both of his tingly hands around the base of Alex cock, and swiftly closed his hot mouth - taking in as much as physically possible - over the rest. “Oh Goddd…” Alex moaned, his mouth slacking as the flight of his arousal commenced. As Miles sucked and tasted Alex like his life depended on it, Alex began releasing the hottest pants and dirty nothings spoken to no-one. The place between his legs charged with unimaginable heat, he was certain  Miles would burn his tongue. Miles gagged drunkenly right where he knelt, eyes tightly shut in utter ecstasy. When he broke from the mind blowing blow job - Alex’ hands fastened at the sides of his bobbing skull - he was met with a needy moan from the boy trembling above him. “What…” Miles pants, actually needing to catch his breath. “Wot did ’you miss ‘bout me?” He growled through the saliva and profuse pre-come occupying his pallet, “I - fuck - I missed,  _ goddam it... _ everything?” Alex said through barred teeth and furrowed brows, Miles tutted and shook is head softly. 

“For an academic - your articulation isn’t too promising.” He smirked, shooting a pointed looked to the dazed man. Alex scoffed and shook his head fondly, “Fine.” He smirked, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. “I missed…” he visibly filtered through his mind, Miles smiled up at him, dwelling in his own longing for a moment. Alex giggled, so Miles did also - that smile was contagious. “Wot?” Miles asked, turning his head like curious bird. 

“I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this - but I actually missed your cooking.” He laughed, looking at Miles with what looked like love.

Miles repressed his own cackle to shoot Alex a pretend pout, “how  _ dare _ you.” He gawked, smiling up at the boy. 

“An’... I missed your stupid sleep talkin’.” He continued, but then his smile faltered, he looked wounded. Like the memory stung him now. 

Miles didn’t say anything, the lift got quiet then.

“I missed your fuckin’ cat.” Alex smiled, taking Miles cheek in his hand. Miles kissed the palm and then the remarkably still hard-on in his hands, Alex hisses and chuckled. 

“Keep goin’.” Miles purred, kissing the shimmery tip once more.

“I - uh - missed your stupid smile.” He said, shutting his eyes.

The confession earnt him another wet peck to his aching dick. And  _ that _ earnt Miles another high pitched noise.

“I missed your fookin’ mouth.” Alex blurted barbarically, Miles licked a stripe up the length and began his quest once more. Holding and moving Alex’ fan - fucking - tastic cock in his mouth, his own drive riding on making Alex come.

As he bobbed back and forth around Alex’ drenched cock - all without Alex laying a hand on him - he unzipped his own trousers and began desperately fondling himself.

The second he touched his sensitive self he gasped and whined, the vibration journeying through his lips, past Alex’ cock and up his spine. Miles was so caught, so involved. He felt like everything in him was applauding his behaving gag reflex and cramping legs, he could feel himself coming close to finishing - and knew Alex was too.

“I-oh god-I missed your cock - I missed your legs and your hands- I missed..OHh…” He blubbered, his hands pressing hard against the wall he was being pinned against. “FUck-Miles, I...I’m gonna…” he warned, breathing ruggedly as his climax crept into his system.

Miles would have yelled at him hotly to fucking come, but his mouth was busy being the driving force for said destination. So he just moaned his approval around the dick in his mouth, hurrying himself along with the hand tending to his own conclusion. 

 

Alex came hard - maybe harder than Miles had ever seen - straining his throat with his climatic sounds, certainly muting himself for the rest of the day. He filled Miles’ mouth, some of his seed spilling over as Miles took it all in, swallowing greedily. “FUuckk…” He sobbed, covering his eyes with his arm. The sensation of Alex’ warm ending inside his mouth tipped Miles over the edge, he came in his hand loud. The elevator echoed with Alex’ heavy breathing and Miles’ mind-bending-never-the-same-since orgasim, “OHh  _ god _ , did I miss you.” Miles muttered as he fell to his bum, catching his breath. Miss you. Reality dawned on him, he still missed Alex - and would continue too. 

 

He sighed, feeling the post coiltal emotion rushing to the surface, mixing with his justified pain. He pulled his knees up, propping his elbows and buried his face as he panted through the traumtic orgasim he’d not only had himself - but’d had take place down his throat.

 

Alex slid down the wall that had supported him through all of that, and sat there, regaining his regular heart rate. He looked at Miles and whispered his name, his head shot up, smiling tiredly at his ex-boyfriend. Was that right? It didn’t sound right. 

“I...I don’t know how to do this anymore than you do, Miles.” He said, he sighed and began tucking himself back behind his fly. “But…” he said, standing and holding out a hand for Miles as he put his own spent self behind cotton, “we can work it out together.” Miles smiled softly and took the hand offered as they came to a standstill, facing each other’s tired, flushed faces and wild hair. Miles absent mindedly began fixing Alex’ pomade tuft, aware of the adoring eyes on him. “So,” Alex exhaled roughly, “tonight.” Miles nodded and sighed, “we’ll get through it.” He answered as honestly as he could, relocating an out of place strand of Alex’ stunning hair. Alex nodded, “yeah.” He said before kissing Miles softly, it tugged Miles’ heart, it was so soft it hurt. Soon the two broke, brushing down crinkled suits as Miles handed Alex his empty to-go coffee cup. He wiped his untarnished  briefcase and smiled when Alex fixed his tie. “Beautiful boy.” Miles said once more, making Alex blush and shake his head.

 

A few minutes of mind melting tongue kissing later and the elevator resumed its descent - the two boys squeezed in as many kisses in as possible before that reality check -  _ ding. _

 

4

Miles wasn’t too surprised when he showed up to work and found nothing different; no enraged superviser, no overflowing workload waiting on his desk - it certainly put Miles’ place in this world into perspective for him.

 

When he got home Katherine was cuddling Suzanne...a smile like honey on her face...and dimples -  _ dimples _ . But the moment she saw Miles she put Suzzie down and her smile decreased to her regular one - small yet visible. She stood once more, “good day?” She asked as she went to the fridge, taking out a bowl of undressed salad. “Erm-yeah, you?” Miles replied as he set his briefcase down - wondering why Katherine’s usual briefcase groping had not commenced. “It was good, thanks.” She wore a knee length dress, grey and a little looser than tight - but rather flattering. Her hair and makeup were also remarkably coordinated, Miles realised he should probably be getting ready - though would honestly rather not.

 

He thought more about Katherine as he flicked through his closet - how her behaviour in the last few days had a somewhat stark difference to her original demeanour. It wasn’t that she’d loosened up exactly, rather...shifted. Like she was preparing for some sort of conclusion. She can dream - Miles thought to himself - he certainly did. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was keeping some weird detail from him. Like in hiding his own secrets, perhaps Miles had overlooked hers. 

 

“Miles? Ready?” He heard Katherine call from the kitchen, he clipped his last sleeve and told her he’d be five minutes. He could do this. He’d play the part and get through it - if not for him than for Alex. He felt his plans for ‘make believe Miles’ falter when he pictured Homme, his hands on Alex, or those cruel snarks, how he would wave Alex around like a trophy.

 

Katherine and Miles closed their front door behind them and made a beeline for disaster.

 

“Miles.” Homme greeted customarily, with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. But Miles beamed all the same, “Homme.” He grinned, ushering Katherine under his arm almost lovingly. “May I introduce my Partner, this is Katherine.” And at  that moment Miles spotted Alex, through the door he was setting the table but had stopped to smirk at him, it was clear that the idea of Miles being with a woman amused him to no end. To it Miles merely suppressed his own eye roll and watched Homme shake Katherine’s delicate hand, he realised he felt protective over her - like a distant sister to whom he has nothing in common with - but he noted Katherine’s nonchalance. She shook Homme’s hand like she’d done it a million times, which only catapulted Miles into more rabbit holes regarding her personality shift.

 

“Please, come in.” Homme welcomed, taking Miles’ and Katherine’s coats. As he lead the couple inside, Miles tried to seem new to the space. “Beautiful.” Katherine gushed, eyeballing the unchanged apartment. Miles’ heart burnt in his chest, he swallowed his melancholia and made for Alex as Homme and Katherine spoke. Alex was placing cutlery when he greeted him, “so glad to have you.” Said Alex as he offered his hand, Miles shook it and just smiled. 

 

After a tame fifteen minutes and a little help from some hefty spirits, Miles was called to the fireplace by the anti-christ. “I need your opinion on something.” He’d called across the room, Miles left the pleasant confines of small talk with Alex and Katherine to battle the beast. When face to face with the same fireplace that had watched Alex and him that first night, Miles blinked hard, like he might squint the memory away for the moment. 

 

“A or B?” Homme asked as he held two bottles of wine in his hands, Miles squinted to read the fine words written across the label. “This one’s stronger.” Miles remarked, remembering Alex telling him about this particular vintage at one point. Homme chuckled, “say no more.” Handing the bottle to Miles as he placed the other back, before Miles could be done with the exchange, he found himself opening his mouth to ask “how are you settling in?” Guiltily needing to know as much as he could get - Alex wasn’t going to tell him anything. “So, so.” Homme shrugged. Prick.

They were looking over at their Partners who were chatting, their backs to the fireplace when Homme returned the question, referring to the new Coupling Law. “It’s...been an adjustment.” Miles said a little too honestly, he recoiled - “A blessed one at that.” He saved, smiling perfectly. Miles rubs his thumb over the bottle nervously as he watched Alex, Homme nodded. “We must have faith in the Eyes…” he said absently, but intentionally. “Even when our patience is tested.” He tacked on, eyes glued to Alex. Miles’ mind reel pictured himself taking the wine he held in his hand and acquainting the bottle with Homme’s face, he imagined not being able to tell if it was the wine or the man’s blood that stained Alex’ custom rug.

 

“Of course.” Miles agreed, actually sounding okay with what Homme had implied. 

 

Dinner was eaten at the dining table, Miles and Alex had never really eaten there, which made this easier to stomach. Alex had made a Swedish Meatball Pasta, his culinary skills still blew Miles’ mind to no avail. “Oh, Alex,” Katherine commended through a mouthful, “this is incredible, you’ll have to give me the recipe.” To it Alex chuckled, but it dissipated the moment Homme laid an uncomfortably gentle hand over his back, rubbing little circles. Katherine was too busy stuffing her face to see, but Miles hadn’t missed it. He now imagined taking the fork Homme clutched and ramming it into his eye, or simply force feeding him Alex’ incredible meatballs until he choked and died. 

 

Alex look a heady swig of wine and cleared his throat, Miles was desperate to see his eyes, but it seemed to become more and more impossible. When the meal was finished and they all began slipping into a welcomed food-coma, Homme asked Alex why their weren’t any lit candles. Miles blood distilled at his tone, like Alex was an irritable child. “I…” Alex replied as the dinner table energy clenched, “You...what?” Homme pressed in a monotone voice, Miles felt like a parent watching the teacher about to rip his baby to shreds. You could cut the tension with a knife, “I think I have s-some, in the bathroom, I can have a look?” He stuttered, standing. And the next part nearly killed Miles; “Good boy.” Alex visibly broke a little, but swallowed hard as he went to search for the fucking candles. When Miles turned to Katherine, he was surprised to catch her neutral, studying her fingernails closely. He wanted to shake her, shake Homme and Alex and himself - shake the whole fucking planet.

 

“I, er…” Miles said as both remaining sets of eyes watched him, “sorry - the wine went righ’ through me…” Homme nodded and gestured towards the direction Alex went in “second door to the left.” He said, smiling as if he hadn’t just grilled someone over candles. Just as Miles stood to hopefully catch Alex, he felt a hand wrap softly around his wrist. He looked down to see Katherine looking worriedly up at him, then in the blink of an eye she released him and shook her head - as if to dismiss her concern - she smiled and looked away as quick as possible. What the fuck? As Miles made his way around the table he eyeballed her closely as she began asking Homme about his work, Miles wondered so desperately what she had been thinking. But once her and Homme’s conversation had commenced Miles snapped out of it, and went to catch a moment alone with Alex.

 

“Where the actual fuck?” Alex groaned through his nerved mood as he shuffled violently through the sink draws, searching less than carefully through the contents. His movements were as annoyed as Homme’s tone back there, “I mean - where the _ fuck _ ?” He spat, slamming a draw shut. Miles closed the door behind him, annoyed at the lack of lock, and moved over hurriedly. “Al, babe-” he said as he planted his hands over Alex’ shoulders, “Calm down-” “-No, Miles - you don’t  _ fucking _ get to say that.” He butted in, breaking from Miles hold. “You get to go home after this.” He said,  pointing a finger at Miles. After a beat he returned to his candle hunt, Miles didn’t say anything more, just sat on the edge of the bathtub and watched.

 

“Did you know I can’t sleep?” Miles asked softly as  Alex reached up to search a higher cupboard, Alex scoffed and turned to Miles, he leaned back against the sink with his arms crossed over his chest. “Did you know I can’t breathe?” Alex countered coldy, “Like - ever?” He closed his eyes and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he fought not to break down. 

Miles got up from where he sat and moved over to Alex, when he gently wrapped his arms around him Alex relaxed into it. He pulled Miles close and muffled against his chest, “M’sorry.” He let go a shuddering breath, holding Miles closer than he could ever remember being held.

Alex moved his head so he could kiss Miles, he opened his mouth wantonly and was met with Miles’. The kiss was soft, loving and problem solving. Miles leaned into Alex to deepen it, as his tongue united with Alex’, the man he held backed against the sink behind him. Alex’ arse was flush against the sink’s draws as Miles displayed no intention of backing off.  Alex hooked a leg around Miles’ hip and let go a sugary moan into the hot lips against his.

 

Back at the kitchen table, Katherine and Homme’s domestic chatter concluded when the man mentioned how long the two other men had been gone - it was weird - it had been a while. “If I know Miles, he’s probably aiding Alex in his search.” Katherine giggled nervously, her palms suddenly way too sweaty. Homme smiled tightly then stood  - her stomach dropped - and he set his napkin down. “Just going to check in on them, then we’ll have ourselves some dessert.” He gave her a smile with nothing behind it, moving in the direction the two men had left. Katherine nodded and smiled uselessly, when the snake of a man had felt she downed the last of her wine. Then she glanced over and regarded the stunning kitchen...her heart tightened when she spotted an empty slot in the knife block sitting over on the counter.

 

Alex and Miles jolted in each other's embrace when the bathroom door swung open, Homme seethed as he flew through the doorframe to rip Miles from Alex. Homme threw Miles back against the wall behind him, “Miles!” Alex gasped, getting down from the surface he sat on to pull Homme off him. Miles threw a generous punch that knocked Homme to the tile floor, Miles was on him in an instant, swinging blow after blow until the man under him viciously united his knee with Miles’ crotch. He cursed, instantly faltering in volting pain - Homme saw his chance and forced Miles off him. He slipped out from under his neighbour and went for Alex, “get the fuck off me!” Alex yelled as Homme clasped a muscled arm around his abdomen and clenched his fingers into his hair. He held Alex tight as Miles came to a stand still, something animal in his eyes as he watched the man he loved suddenly being held with a knife to  this throat. “Wha-th’fuck?” Alex screamed at the blade an inch from contact. “Come closer and I fucking do it!” Homme threatened Miles, “ - you fucking whore.” He growled into Alex’ ear, the boy squirmed and began shaking. “I knew it - I fucking knew it you fucking bastard!” Homme spat across the room, “you stay the fuck back - you fucking dog!” He yelled - causing Alex to choke on a sob. Homme began to inch backwards towards the open door, the knife to Alex’ neck suspending the panicked boy. Miles took a step forward as the two men facing him began shuffling backwards. “ _Hey!_ \- what did I fucking say?” Homme snapped, that’s when the knife in his hand brushed against Alex’ skin, drawing a bead of thick, red blood. Alex squirmed and cried, “Oh god -M-Miles - wait - I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” He babbled incoherently as he sobbed, “I’m sorry I never said it - I’m _sorry_.” He cried, Miles was shaking, but he didn’t feel it anymore, all he felt was Alex yelling to him. “I - I love you!” Alex demanded around the blade to his throat, “I _do -_ I love you! I - I love you Miles, I’m sorry.” He said as his voice broke and gave way to more tears, that’s when Miles realised what his confession really meant... Alex believed that - right now, in his unlivable situation, in this freezing bathroom - _this_  was good-bye. Alex hadn’t said it that night in bed, he hadn’t said it in the elevator this morning, because he’d decided there’d come a more deserving moment - but now he seemed certain this was the only chance to say it - but it didn’t make Miles feel anything, save for the chill up his spine.

 

“You better shut that pretty mouth.” Homme threatened as the blood slid down Alex’ neck, “you’re so fucking dead,” He yelled at Miles, removing the knife from Alex’ throat to point the blade at Miles. “You - and you’re fucking whor--” That was when the small bathroom echoed with the ring of gunshot.

 

5

 

The knife had dropped to the tile seconds before Homme’s body did.

 

Miles fell backwards against the tub at the sound of gunfire - ultimately dodging the bullet that had pierced Homme‍ 's skull - the image stuck like a note pegged to his eyes. Homme’s arms had slackened, allowing Alex to fall to his knees as Homme hit the floor head down. Alex had screamed at the crack mere inches from his ears, but Miles couldn’t hear it. 

 

Miles stayed down, squeezing his eyes shut, when he opened them it was Katherine he saw. She stood solidly, neutral expression as she held the raised gun in the same hand that had shook Homme’s hours ago. When she lowered the weapon Miles watched her wipe a bead of sweat from her forehead, that’s when sound crept back into Miles’ ears. It was Alex’ panicked panting and uncontrolled cries, he saw Katherine disarm her weapon, removing the magazine as she dropped the device to the floor. 

 

Miles held Alex close to him in that small bathroom, as he let Alex tire himself against his body he watched Katherine closely. She hadn’t looked over at Miles once, she pulled a mobile device from her pocket and moved over to Homme’s body that pooled. The almost black-red that leaked from his wound soaked the bath mat under him, Katherine held the phone to her ear as she crouched to inspect the corpse.

 

“Miles.” Alex whispered in a croak, Miles looked down at him and tried a small smile. “Alex.” Was all he could think to say, “love you.” Was the reply, Alex sniffed and snuggled back into Miles’ arms. “Love you.”

 

“You heard me - dead.” Katherine said to the person on the other end, “as is dead-dead... did I stutter?” She snapped as she stood, Miles held Alex close as he studied the woman before him.

 

“I’ll explain when you get here - what? Yes - yeah…” she looked over at Miles and back to Homme, “...and can we get a Coupling agent down here?” She added, turning to continue her conversation in her own company.

 

The rest of that evening morphed into a block of government uniforms and a very full body bag. Katherine was the last of the swarm to leave Alex’ home - they’d even done them the courtesy of scrubbing the bathroom floor clean. Alex hadn’t left Miles side all night, and there was no way Miles would leave Alex. 

 

“Katherine - wait.” Miles called as she followed her flock of agents out the front door, she stopped and looked back at the two. Miles, looking at her sternly, with no intention of letting her slip away without an explanation. And Alex, holding onto Miles - looking the worst of the two with a bandaged cut across his throat, Homme’s blood tinting his shirt and eyes as tired as Katherine realised she was. “All along.” He said, with both amazement and disarmament. She smirked at him and looked at Alex, who looked ready to fall asleep on Miles. “We’ve been following Homme for a while - guess we underestimated his...charisma.” She said, Miles scoffed. “So you...you just-” “-Look, Miles. You and Alex - you’re legally partners now, so I suggest you keep him close...and keep your heads  _ down _ .” 

She said, the last sentiment hushed. 

 

Miles understood he wasn’t aloud to ask any of the questions he had. So he nodded, and watched her leave quietly. But before she’d closed the door behind her, she humoured: “I guess love does find away....” She scoffed, shrugging as she shut the door behind her, leaving them with possibly the most honest thing she’d said to them. 

 

Once the door closed the two men off from the outside world Miles mind backtracked and attempted to catch up, his mind flooded. He was doubtless he’d spend a long time wrapping his head around the events that had taken place tonight, a great deal of disbelief, forever wondering about Katherine - what would have become of this evening had Katherine not been playing him. But Miles realised that through all of the dilution, impossibility and chaos, he had Alex. And as he looked down at the boy, Miles knew Alex had him too.

 

“Miles.” Alex barely murmured, hanging an arm around him. Miles felt the now, less than familiar feeling of a smile on his face, it was a lost smile, but it was there. Alex was on the brink, Miles mentally shook himself upright and said “bed?” Alex hummed and smiled, eyes half way there. “Bed.”

 

Miles held Alex to him, the boy’s washed hair fanned on the man’s bare chest. Nothing but the sound of Alex contented sleep and Miles adoration for it. Unfortunately Alex’ much needed slumber was disturbed when Miles jumped in fright suddenly, “Wot, wot is it?” Alex gasped, eyes wide and heavy. “Oh, god, I’m sorry.” Miles breathed, nodding to the cat. Alex released a deep breath and snickered, “guess I’m still a bit jumpy…” Miles said, watching Suzanne strutting up the bed to curl closer to the two bodies. Alex yawned and stroked Suzzie, “I think I’ll be jumpy for the rest of me life.” Alex kidded, resting his head on Miles’ shoulder - the safest place on earth. “Well - I’ll be there to catch’ya.” Miles hummed, kissing Alex’ forehead.

 

“Hey Mi?” Alex asked when Miles had finally drifted off, he looked up at his favourite person in the world. His eyes and his heart spilled - for the last time he told is emotional self. He felt Miles’ warmth and the rise and fall of his impossibly stable chest, the only place he felt he’d ever need to be.

 

He kissed Miles’ chest carefully. “Love you.” 

 

FIN.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the character 'Katherine' is loosely based on the Katherine in 1984, just gave her some edge ! All for fun - don't sue me. Ta.

**Author's Note:**

> Songs mentioned:
> 
> Take This Longing - Leonard Cohen
> 
> Glad To Be Unhappy - Frank Sinatra


End file.
